The Truth About Words Part 2

As a Christian writer, my goal is to always write the truth. Whether I am writing Fiction or nonfiction I want the words that I use to be true of the world I live in.  

Proverbs 12:17-19 “He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit. There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” 

I want the words that I speak or write to be remembered as true. Verse 19 of the above passage says that “the lip of truth shall be established forever.” Imagine what an impact our words must have that true words are established forever but lying words last briefly. 

Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

God doesn’t like a tongue that is always lying. A lying tongue is not a good testimony of what Christ has done for us. Lies only lead us into trouble and are hurtful to those we tell them to. You can never believe a liar. When we lie or don’t tell the whole truth we destroy the trust people had in us. A lying tongue is but for a moment. Lies, don’t get us anywhere in life. They might work for the moment but they will soon be found out and then everything we worked for is gone all because we chose to lie instead of tell the truth. For example, telling your mom that you saw your little sister steal the cookies out of the jar when it was really you might get you out of trouble for the moment, but what happens when your little sister has a solid alibi for the exact moment that the cookies went missing? You will get in trouble for not only stealing the cookies but for lying about it and blaming your sister. When you are truthful no one will be able to prove otherwise even if they try. Titus 2:7-8 “In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.” No matter what a person may say of you, your words should make them look foolish in the eyes of those who know the truth. 

Proverbs 14:5, 25 “A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies.”

James 4:11-12 “Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?”

Proverbs 11:9 “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”

Don’t speak badly about other people. It doesn’t matter whether they did something wrong or not, we don’t want to be known as talebearers and false witnesses. Proverbs 25:18 “A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.” Exodus 20:16 “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”You shouldn’t even think badly about a person, especially if you don’t know all the facts about them. It is not our place to judge the sinner, for we are all sinners and have made mistakes at one time or another. Sometimes another person’s mistake is really your own. You shouldn’t look at another person’s faults when you yourself have faults. We are all guilty of doing this. We often don’t want to admit when we are wrong. Jesus warns against this in the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” 

Proverbs 18:13 “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Before you go around spreading gossip and rumors, learn the facts. Never assume something you hear from someone else is true. It only takes one person to ruin another’s reputation, so make sure what you have heard is true and don’t go spreading it around. Truth or not it isn’t your business. Proverbs 20:19 warns us to stay away from meddlers, people who get into people’s business then spread it around. “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” Don’t go around sharing things with people that don’t concern you and stay away from those who do. Jeremiah 9:4-8 “Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders. And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity. Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD. Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will melt them, and try them; for how shall I do for the daughter of my people? Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.” 

If you have a good friend who you have always known and you hear bad things about them, don’t assume they are true. Go to the friend and find out, especially if it is something uncharacteristic of them. Don’t take the word of a stranger over the word of a good friend. Proverbs 18:8 “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” Proverbs 18:19 “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” 

Words can be deadly if we aren’t careful. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Don’t use words that are hurtful and don’t assume another person is telling the truth, learn the facts. 

I know there is a little overlap of part one, but I am discovering that words can be hurtful and kind. It is a matter of how we use them and if used wrong they can destroy relationships and reputations forever. As a warning though, truthful words often hurt. I’ve been on both ends, where I’ve had to listen to someone say something I didn’t want to hear and I’ve had to tell someone things they didn’t want to hear. It can end relationships or it can strengthen them. It may be that the person we were honest with doesn’t like what we have to say and may be mad at us for a while only to make up with you later. Sometimes we have to hear things we don’t like in order to better ourselves. The truth hurts but don’t let it keep you from speaking it, because in the end it is truth that will prevail.  

Ephesians 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

The Truth About Words Part 1

Psalm 34:13 “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.”

Proverbs 13:3 “He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.”

Matthew 12:36-37 “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

Proverbs 10:18-21 “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.

The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.”

Titus 3:2 “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.”

Proverbs 15:2 “The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”

The tongue is powerful, but even more so are the words it says. The Bible has a lot to say about the tongue and the things it says.

James 3:5-6, 8, 10-11, 13-14 “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 

Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”

We have all said something that we regret. We have all at one time been hurt by something someone else said, but at the same time we have also been encouraged and inspired by someone else’s words. We have put a smile on someone’s face by words that we have spoken. The tongue is full of deadly poison, but it is also full of healing medicine. It is all a matter of how we use the words the tongue speaks. Our job as Christians is to use words that encourage and speak truth. Not all words are nice to hear, even true ones, but true words are better than lies. Proverbs 27:5-6 “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

A lot of the time the words we use are mean and spiteful. They are full of hate and selfishness. These words tend to come out most when we are angry. It is easy to want to hurt someone back when they have hurt us. We often find the most hurtful words to say when we are angry. When we get angry, we should stop and think about what we are about to say. Most of the time when someone says something hurtful, they don’t mean what they said. There are times when a person’s words just don’t come out the way they intended and someone gets hurt. Spouting off at that person doesn’t make us any better than them. Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” It is very easy to say things we don’t mean when we are angry. Ephesians 4:26 warns us not to sin when we are angry. “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” When we lash out in anger when we’ve been hurt, that is sin. Anger itself is not wrong, it’s how we react when we are angry that can be wrong. Words said in anger can destroy a life long friendship in just seconds. When someone says something hurtful, we should cool off first so that we don’t say something regretful, then approach the person about what they said or did. Matthew 18:15 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” The person that hurt you will most likely repent of what they did or said. If they chose not to repent, then find a different approach or leave it to God, depending on what it is they did; never use words to get even. 

How we use words really makes a difference. What we say or don’t say could mean the difference between building or tearing down a relationship. Relationships can be destroyed when our words lack explanation. Not saying enough or saying nothing at all says a lot sometimes. We forget that silence is just as powerful as words. Silence leads to assumption and misunderstanding. I find this true with rumors and gossip. Rumors and gossip are generally not true. Someone tells someone something and they tell someone else and pretty soon what the first person said is completely twisted into something else. We have to be careful not only about what we tell someone, but also what they tell us. There are times when someone repeats something that the person they heard it from didn’t want told. When this happens the rumors start and that person’s reputation is at stake. In some of these cases the original person needs to speak up and set things straight, this doesn’t work everytime, but letting people believe something that isn’t true is the same as lying. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to tell everything, just make it clear that what is being said isn’t true. 

Now comes the secrets. Secrets can be good and bad. If you know a secret that is hurtful to you or someone else, you need to go to the proper authorities and reveal this secret. Keeping secrets like that can really wear you down and be hurtful to you, even if the secret doesn’t involve you. Bad secrets like that need to be revealed, but only to people who can help. Don’t go spreading it around to everyone else. Not all secrets are bad though. Sometimes there are surprise secrets we keep, like around someone’s birthday or Christmas, but the secrets I refer to aren’t those. Everyone has secrets, things we tell no one, and things we reveal only to close friends. When we tell these things to someone in confidence it is wrong for us to reveal it to other people without permission. That may include your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes, the person is fine with you telling your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend as long as you tell no one else, but there are times when even they don’t need to know. If you aren’t comfortable keeping a secret to yourself, don’t let the person tell it to you. We don’t have to tell everyone everything our friends tell us. Things said in confidence do not need to be repeated, even to our parents. There are exceptions to this, but in general, it should not be necessary. When we break confidence we are breaking a silent promise that we would keep everything said to ourselves. This breaks trust with your friend and is lying, because we promised, even if it was silently, not to say anything. If asked by a person what was said, it is perfectly acceptable to tell them that it was spoken in confidence and can’t be repeated. If they want to know they need to approach the person directly..  Proverbs 11:13 “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” Proverbs 12:23 “A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.” Proverbs 17:9 “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Not everything said between friends is private and sometimes can be repeated, but we need to use discretion in what we repeat. 

The words we speak define who we are. A Christian should never cuss and swear, that is not a good testimony to those around us.  Titus 2:7-8 “In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.” When we talk, our words should be unbreakable. Someone attempting to find something wrong with our words shouldn’t succeed. People ought to be able to always think good of you because your words are always kind and good and you never speak bad of anyone or tell falsehoods. Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” 

For the sake of length, I am going to stop here and leave the rest of what I have to say in a separate post. Whether we are writing on paper, typing on a device or speaking, our words have an impact on those who read them or hear them and we need to be careful what words we use.